INSIGHTS

The last week and this have been a crazy time and I know its not going to be any easier. My darling cousin got proposed/engaged to a friend of mine which is brilliant for me – I think. You maybe wondering why I wrote it as ‘proposal/engaged’, well that’s because I realized that to me it all means the same. I personally think that we – Indians – have a tendency of wanting to do too much. They come see the girl, then they come propose, then they have engagement, then its mendhi before the wedding, and even maybe a qwaali [think I spelt that wrong but it’s a music night or something], then its kataam night for the Muslims [were the Qur

an is completed to give the new couple blessing] AND THEN is the wedding…and walimah. So the problem was that none of us knew what to call this little event that took place. The boy’s side came and they put the ‘chain’ so I’m calling it an engagement…

Another thing that I maybe at fault in doing is that I’m looking too much into this thing. You lost as to what I’m talking about right? Well I mean it’s my fav cousin [who is only 6months my junior] and a friend of mine who I get along with brilliantly. So it should work out perfectly …right? Or maybe not. [I am not talking about their marriage here but about my relationship with them]. I mean who am I to think that I can 24/7 hang out with them when they all married. Eish the issues lol but I’m over glad its them together. They happy and good together and the advantage is that I can barge into their home when ever. **big grin on my face**cheeks and all**

Though people are thinking that I would be next since she got hitched but I keep reminding them that I’m not ready for it nor do I want it right now. “I have too much to do and too much to see.” But they have it stuck still in their heads that I will casually find someone all of a sudden and get buckled. Like I mean do they not realize that my life is now definitely off on a tangent to another place? At one stage I may have welcomed the fact that I would find someone or had found someone to settle down with, but recently I realized the more I stayed away from home and the more I got to know me, the more I didn’t want it. Don’t get me wrong… if someone comes along and its meant to be it will be and I will not stop the process, but right now I will definitely not see what is in front of me because I choose not to. I choose to see what life has to offer me with out the need of having to have a better half. They say the better half would complete me and that I will see the world with him in a different light but I want to see it in the light that belongs solely to me. “Mine all mine.” Selfish as that may sound I know that if I didn’t try to do everything I wanted to now I would regret jumping into something I don’t want at the moment.

“I will get married to the one I want and need, when I want and need him, not before and not after.”

[maybe one day I will choke on those words but till then I will live with it!]

On to more brilliant and informative issues. I have come to realize that the world is a whole lot of superficial hogwash. Economic crisis, financial meltdown, food crisis, climate crisis, war crisis, nuclear crisis…damn only CRISIS’!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now really [come to think of it why would you get married and have kids with all these crisis’?] is this what the world is coming to? At the moment with the job I have I seem to be only coming across the bad in the world. Its making me grow a thicker skin that I feel I am loosing myself. I’m at that point were if I don’t step back these issues and the human suffering that comes with it will wash of my back and mean nothing to me. Its like watching the bad on tv continuously so that it goes in one ear comes out another and that you don’t give a flying F^%k what happens. “if its not me or my family why should I bother?” Emotionally detachment from all that surrounds you.

With out human emotion there is no love, no hope and no promise of a better tomorrow…

PS: wonder if anyone got my title ;)

PPS: Watching the US elections closely…finally stretch…what surprises are in store?!?!? Anyone?

And have you noticed how the elections are overshadowing the financial meltdown? Attention has moved away from the bail outs and are now on Sarah Palins phathetic attempts at dressing and economics….Palin and Bush = Dumb and Dumber :P

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It’s been a crazy few days. Running around a zoo with little kids was the one of the most enjoyable parts of the weekend that passed. Its amazing how they make you want to see life in a different way. The kids that I was running after was 7 out of the big batch that arrived from the day care and aftercare centre south of Johannesburg. Osizweni – a Zulu term for ‘place of help’ – looks after orphans or children coming from broken homes. It is an Islamic Relief project and I firmly believe that it is doing an incredible job.

Most of the kids [or rather all of them] had never visited a zoo before and the most they know about the animals are those they hear in stories. “Roar like a lion”… “meow”… “no a cat meows”… “ok”

A small conversation passed between myself and some of the little ones and volunteers.

“Whats big and grey and uses its nose to eat with?”

“My favourite animal is a baboon. Can we see that?”

“most definitely”

We didn’t end up seeing the baboon though but a rather big gorilla which put on a splendid show for the kids by obliging and coming out of his little house in the enclosure and posing on the rocks before heading onto the ‘jungle gym’. Getting to leave that place may have taken a good half and hour of our time. Also it was about then that we started realising we had one little terror who wished to join the animals at every opportunity he got.

Little Eden kept us running on our toes but I thoroughly had a ball of a time with him. Unlike the rest who were quiet he and Yolanda – a pretty little thing with her corn rows and sunglasses – made my day. They were noisy, naughty and fun as little kids should be.

“So can you roar like a lion?”

“R-O-A-R”

“G-R-O-W-L”

The day moved steadily on. With loads of animals and really not much time to see them all, we minimised the animals we saw to keep it to the big ones and the ones they knew and recognised. Stamping towards the animals we came to the playful seals and Eden thought he could catch a swim with them. Nothing fazed him at all and this helped to get the others more and more involved.

Question – why does the lion enclosure and all the good animals have to be so so far away?

“I’m tired now. Its so hot. SIGH.”

“Let’s stop for a water break guys. Right everyone have some water.”

Lions, and tigers and bears and elephants and snakes and gorillas – lets not forget the snakes – thrilled them to bits. But where were the tigers hiding. “We can’t see them”.

Not knowing where they could be we walked towards a building that formed part of the enclosure. Strict instructions at the door. “Do not go pass the yellow line. You little ones hold on to an adults hands,” said the lady at the door. Fortunately she managed to catch us before Eden or Yolanda went through without us. “Where are they?” “There they are.” Seeing them Yolanda and Thembisile clutched tightly onto my hands. While thankfully John – an older child – had Eden by the hand while ‘Aunty Taahira’ and Aunty Dinah held the rest.

The day was broken with lunch and a rest and a birthday for one of the dear care givers at the centre.

I would write more about the events that occurred after including my run with the 3 older ones in our group from the main entrance to the croc area on the other side of the world but the story would just be a ramble.

Also check out the pic here.

**The care centre is an Islamic Relief project but huge thanks goes to Zeenat Ghoor for organising the countless volunteers and making sure we all had lovely groups of kids and to Aunty Lucy who did as much planning as anyone can to make sure the day was a success.**

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I've been ordered by BiBi to write again.
You may be wondering about the long and lengthy absence but I've been a tad disinterested in life at present. Trying to manage through to the end of Ramadan was not that difficult. The idea of going home for Eid was making it all the more easier.

But my concentration has been shot out the window/door/house/building. And this has left me in limbo not knowing where to go and what to do. Also other factors have been steadily creeping back into my life. No matter how hard I try to keep them away. Some one told me the reason for it was I never dealt with it when I should have at the right time and that’s the reason they coming back. But is there ever a right way to deal with anything?

So noting that I decided to finally start getting back on track. Been reading loads of blogs even though I have not written any in awhile and some have been profound and have started making me rethink life. Others are there just to put a smile on my face :)

Getting back into the blogging world again... what is there really to write about? What would I say that could make any difference? Why would anyone want to even read my stuff?

Then I realised I write what I want for myself. Like most of my fellow bloggers at the moment are doing. So what is it that I want to say?
Should it be important or whimsical?

I think I rather leave it as a mash up of thoughts and ideas. So this is a very much mash up and quick recount of what's been happening.

Ghana as previously shouted was awesome. You can catch the pics here.

Nothing beats travelling Africa and I hope to continue doing it.

Something that has caught my total attention has to be the huge American market rescue. With them failing so has ours. But the thing is why the F&^king H&ll are we still so economically attached to a floundering one. Have our markets not learnt since the great depression and so. Another thing if we have other markets which are now such awesome leaders why should America matter to us?

Then again I never studied ecos so I would have to ask for further clarification by my more competent friends on explaining the reason the rand is weaker to the dollar if the American market is collapsing?

In another direction…following on the Ever-Greats post on choices and loved ones…it got me thinking would I ever do anything that was a good choice?
What's a choice? Is what's good in my eye good in another's?

Will blog again… soon soon
Ciao

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