Football...Eskom...and Love Shedding...
No this is not a post on the Euro 2008 though I am looking forward to it but the picture has some meaning below...
People say that to blog you need to do it more regularly and on a continuous basis. But some people forget that not everyone is privileged enough to have access 24/7.
Why this train of thought...well if I had the access i would be religiously publishing everything that happens in my life all the time and for that matter voicing my opinions more on the fact that I have an opinion.
But back to the reason of this ‘outdated’ blog. I have so much anger and frustration pent up in me that I have decided to do something physical. Yes I have taken up football. Now as most of my guy friends would know…I can kick the ball, I can pass the ball, I can foul a player, but I CANNOT for one sec run with the damn ball. God alone knows why so many years down the line I finally decide to take up the one sport I have the biggest passion for.
I’m not ashamed though I don’t think I would ever want my ‘guy’ friends to come see me play (well until I become more confident in my atrocious skills). But damn since I can no longer swim in
O which reminds me the damn Eskom and their tariff hikes as well as the fact I don’t experience load shedding does not mean they have let us (my house and those on our road) off easy. We suffered two power surges which has left us without a television and microwave (though the micro has been fixed now) and no cellphone chargers as well. The idiots forget we rely on these basics. Let me explain…for the week in which the micro and lights went we were resigned to having to warm up small amounts of food in the oven which uses more electricity ---stupid stupid Eskom and City Power. The next surge left us without a television.
Yes we still have no television but thanks to Joe I have series and movies to watch, which helps but every time I want to watch sports I need to find somewhere else to do so. (Anyone with a spare tv to lend me???) Generally this would not be an issue, since I have been catching UEFA Champs league with the guys from the Swoosh blog but when I want to check the home grown football (which is really exciting this season seeing as the top three are not the high flyers and the title race is wide open) I cannot :P fooey. Eskom makes my blood boil but when we lodged the complaint we were surprisingly notified that the reason was some idiots had cut the wires and stolen the copper cable. Eish and the situation just seems to get worse by the day.
Some facts…
- Eskom doesn’t ‘foresee’ the future and the government doesn’t build new power stations.
- Eskom decides the only way to help the current situation is to Load Shed.
- Eskom then realises to do even more a ‘necessary price’ hike is required to fund the building of a new power station and to buy power from other countries like Mozambique.
- Poor people feel the pinch in their pockets and start protesting against immediate hikes.
- Some idiot trying to get a little money to feed family (I’m assuming he is doing this for good reasons and no other) steals the copper cables so that he can resell them and the chances that Eskom ends up buying them back is great (I did an interview so its likely).
Now all this combined with the fact that we need power to live our lives – our everyday lives – leaves us all a little hot under the collar. O wait did I forget to say that its OUR fault we short on power and because WE don’t help by turning off appliances WE will be living with this situation for a good couple of years.
GO FIGURE!!!!!!
O btw ever wondered what your Brazilian football name would be? Well if you want to know go check ut BrazilianName. Leave the name and your shirt number in my comments if you wish :)
Another thing which seems to be a bit of a bother is the annoying fact that I’m single and okay with it. People have this idea that I should have someone and guys should be lining up but in truth they are not and I am comfortable with the fact. I think the only real problem is the occasional longing one may have but that is natural especially after coming out from a long intensive relationship. (Yah I know you cynics its been over a year but fooey I like being single right now!!)
I long and wish for better things but I’m only human (and a woman amazingly) so its natural but it does not mean that the next person who comes along I will fling myself at them. To me right now that’s no more important. I want to just follow my dreams to see were life takes me.
No I am NOT saying I will not get married, what I am saying is the urgency that may have been there 2 years ago no longer exists. Neither am I saying I will not meet people because for my parents sake I should (since I aint getting any younger) but it still means that there is no rush. When it comes and it’s meant to happen it will and I will stick by that philosophy through and through.
Oi Dude – yes you – I know you reading this --- I am not Scaring you away --- don’t runaway now – stay don’t go and you never know there still maybe hope…
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You and I
We meet as strangers,
each carrying a mystery within us.
I cannot say who you are.
I may never know you completely.
But i trust that you are a person in your own right,
possessed of a beauty and value that are the Earth's richest treasures.
So i make this promise to you:
I will impose no identities upon you,
but will invite you to become yourself
without shame or fear.
I will hold open a space for you in the world
and allow your right to fill it with an authentic vocation and purpose.
For as long as your search takes,
you have my loyalty.
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Think I'm missing Durban too much!But Why?
This was mailed to me the other day by a dear friend. I think the person was having a slight mid-life crisis but then i realized that its the same questions we ask each other or ourselves everyday.
I haven't edited anything from what was sent because there is no need to... If people have answer to the questions or opinions drop in a comment...
Why does one love? why does one pine for another...
Why does life sometimes seem to be sooo sooo good, but then at times it feels like you got hit by a bus, or you rather be dead then alive?
when does one fall in love? When does one fall out of love?
does love exist? or is it a figment of our imagination?
what is our purpose in life? do we have a purpose? is der a greater purpose that we dont know? are we a governed on what we do? if so, den wats our purpose?
have u ever wondered if ders life other den us? do they have intelligence?
what is the difference in men and women? is there a difference other then pyhsical? why do we love each other? n why do some love the same?
what is sex? male female in pure extacy? have you experienced an orgasm? how did it feel? why do men love sex more then women?
we came so far, yet we are so backward, but why? we put man on the moon, but a rapist walks the streets? have we lost our common values for higher technology? are we moving backward rather forward?
well, all i can say.... i got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning as u can c... just thought i will share my madness with you…
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Loss
I've experienced loss on many levels. But the finality of loss is even harder to bear. The ultimate type of loss to me is that of death. And some how everyone i know has experienced it one way or the other.
So whats the whole point of this...well my helplessness is the point.
My non-worthiness (another made up word i know) and my uselessness at not being able to find the right words and to make it all okay. A dear friend loses someone who means the world to them and i can't find the words to make it all okay. Utter helplessness i guess is what i feel. I wish i could give the said friend a huge hug and hold friend close and say it'll be okay but i would be lying...its not okay to lose it hurts like hell and years down the line it'll still hurt. the most i guess i can do is to let said friend know that they not alone and that their friends are there if they ever need to talk or to be held...a hug goes along way (o so i think)...but then again who am i to think????
I only have lost a few times and the one that i still feel the most about happened almost a decade ago. To think 1992 seems like yesterday to me *sigh*... proves the point that loss always remains within you and the pain you felt then you'll feel a million yrs on...
the most i can tell you dear friend is that you and your family are in my duas and so is every other person who has lost and who i know...
i find solace in my friends and i hope said friend will find solace in us....
mwah
XOXOXOXOXOXO
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Ramblings on a Miniscule scale…
So first order of business…something I’ve been trying to get my head around and couldn’t since Saturday…yes it’s taken me almost a week to write about it but hey I writing it NOW…
Last week (in SA and across the world) was a week in Solidarity with the People of Palestine. So what has this got to do with Saturday? Well I need to vent the fact that I felt disheartened and angry at people in SA, especially those in Durban. Why why why?????
For starters these same people swear that they will fight the fight The Jihad against the Zionist Jews. They will give up house and home and family to go to Palestine and fight, yet they could not take a few hours from their day on Saturday to attend a rally that was held across the glove to show that they stand in solidarity with the people in Palestine and those displaced from the country through the ongoing fighting and forced removals. The same people who say they ‘fought’ against the Apartheid government so that we (the next generation) could live in a democratic country. These very same people, who also say they fight for freedom of all people, could not spend a few hours at a rally…shame on us shame on us shame on us….the people of SA. This utter disappointment is not aimed at the Muslims in SA only but at the hundreds and thousands of South Africans who believe in our freedom and the freedom of everyone. But in all honesty my anger was leveled at the MUSLIM DURBANITES….the Muslim community on Saturday made me want to strangle their pretty necks…What laughing stocks we must be to the Zionists, the Israelis and the International world… I swear at time like these I wish I was a Capetonian…10 000 people showed up to pledge their support…and Jhb also had almost 5 000 people…Durban sigh I will not comment on. I was there covering the event as a journalist. I wish I wasn’t there in that capacity…why? Well I need my anger to be voiced and I couldn’t. I was there to do a job and a job I had to do…I will def say that even though the ANC were there to conduct their own meetings they spared a few moments to remind us that….”there are three kinds of evil in this world…the first is the evil of the oppressor […] the second is the evil of being a watcher [ …] and the third evil is that of not doing anything to stop the first two evils…” – Sbu Ndebele (Premier of KZN) [urr sorry can’t remember exact exact words will watch the tape again and make adjustments accordingly]
So what form of evil are the Muslim people of Durban? (*sarcasm insinuated here*)
So on to my next issue…the civil servants strike…to all those who are complaining about it you guys should really start looking at what kind of people you really are…
Why? Lol
As many of you have noted SA doesn’t seem to be functioning in the ‘correct way’. What do I mean by that…well over the last few days I’ve heard various complaints about how they should all get back to work people are dying people are stranded things seem to be messed up right?
Duh definitely!!!! If our government and all the complainers can’t see what a beneficial asset these civil servants are in our lives you sure are noticing now. Yes people are dying at hospitals…but people are dying all the time in SA due to AIDS, poverty, health and crime etc. No I’m not being evil I’m trying to get the point across that these people work everyday of their lives in horrid conditions and they serve ‘us’ yes us. They keep our country running smoothly from day to day and they care and tend to patients who can put their lives at risk but they do it because its their ‘job’ and with out them we left as we are now…in a bad place!!!
And how can you turn away from those who have taught you in life…do our teachers not count as our parents our nurturers our second families???? So what many of you have gone to private schools but even then you know how much your teachers are shaping you are caring for you and are providing you with the skills to be ‘PEOPLE’!!!! These teachers are teaching your future presidents and ministers…your doctors and nurses…your businessmen and women…will you not care for their needs? The government has a surplus of wealth within their coffers (according to the last speech by the finance minister Trevor Manual); so should they not at least put part of it to those who teach our leaders?
Maybe at this venture I should leave it be so that people can mull over it but my mind is running on to so many other issues I want to talk about…. But please keep the above more in mind then what I will express below…
I’m a journalist right…so I should be objective in my ideas and writings right? (This is one for MJ we have argued this before but I will rant again here…) so why do I have this notion that no journalist is ever objective…why? Because we already formulated into a model that fits society. We grow up learning certain aspects regarding culture and society and ethics and institutionalized ideologies. Why am I going on about this well for the mere fact that I was reminded that I should be writing in an objective capacity while at the same time being told the paper has certain ‘ideas’ about a certain issue. Yes I know the political economy of the media is a big player in all of this ( I mean that was my fortay of study – I tutored and did honors in it) but it still leaves me very disillusioned about the whole idea of the media and whether objective reporting is a utopian ideology conceived by theorists who wished to push their own agenda (yes people figure that one out…I’m sure one of you clever nuts could J).
Another arb point in these ramblings is the need to express what power memories have in a persons life…yes very different from my above mentioned rambles, but also very relevant in any sense one may wish to perceive it. So I’ve been tripping down memory lane again and its been a wild trip. And I don’t mind doing it OCCASIONALLY. Been missing some lost friends and wondering whether there’s ever a right time for anything and whether having regrets now makes a difference. L me wonders if I will ever be able to get a chance to make things right with those I have wronged or I feel I have wronged…its hard I guess more when some of them are no longer with us in this world, but it also made me realized that I can do something about those who still are around. I can make it right with them! So I have set out making things right I hope though some people well I can’t seem to get through to on any level but atleast I know I’ve tried and I feel better about doing so. Also been tripping over good memories…the kind that makes you all warm and fuzzy inside wishing you could have them back. Memories have a certain power all of their own…they either make you cry, sad, happy, warm, fuzzy or neurotic. I like my memories I like that I can share things with so many people that others may never know about. “our little secrets” ( a song comes to mind lol)…anyway enough with all this…I’m out to make more memories and all my friends are invited :D
So my ramblings have some what come to the end…I told you before if I go on it will never stop…so I should stop here now before I kill thee of boredom…and no this is not my return just yet…this is my infintismal need to put words in a pot and stew them around…hopefully leading to the fulfillment of a master piece….go figure!!!
Peace
I’m outta here…
* efg *
*ME EVIL* __
Taken in CBD - Durban (i'm in love with town...the architecture, people and
excitement that breaths beneath the pale gray coverings of our eyes)
Set adrift on memory bliss... R&R part2
In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.
So let mercy come,
And wash away…
What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.
So this last week and weekend brought on a heavy case of tripping down memory lane…
Not a bad thing most of the time but this week was a revolutionary rollercoaster of ups and downs…
Yah hence the title... just a reminder of PM Dawns song, and for those who came after Backstreet Boys yes did do a remake/rehash of the same song...
Careless whisper from a careless man,
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that shes not dreaming.
Shes got an ace in the hole,
It doesnt have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
cause complete control, I dont take too kind.
So anyway were was i...yah the fact that i've been on this trip of late is not a bad thing.
I like my memories and i hold on to them maybe some times to fiercly but i guess they are a part of me now. they what ultimately defines the person that i've become, regardles of how people percieve the real me...its def all me!
But i ponder on the issue of friends lost...why do we lose contact with people who mean so much to us? Why do we change our relationships because we have to? Who says i still cant be your friend now that you don't live here any more? Who says because you now have a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance/husband/wife we have to stop being the friends we were?
My questions may seem a bit arb to some of my readers but may be others can identify with what i'm trying to say.
My tripping made me realise that the way i see life is no more as it used to be. I've become a total scaredy cat eish and thats so not me!!! I'm scared to face the future knowing that i leave behind so much and so many people! Like wtf becuase i'm never scared of anything but i guess what i'm really scared of is letting go.
Yes letting go of what was and what has moved on. Sure the nature of relationships change so shouldn't i be accepting this change and hey not all cange is bad...some are really really good and some maybe needed the change so that i could realise the true friends from the false.
So i have ranted and raved for a bit but its not everything i want to say or wish to say but its okay i'll continue another time...
On to more arb notes and thoughts...YAY AC MILAN and LIVERS in UEFA finals. Makes me wonder if we'l have a repeat of last time (2005-2006 finals) or as i was reminded...some ITALIAN REVENGE...needless to say Juve'85 comes to mind (thanks to the soul who mentioned it to me!).
Another point to arb about...is I'M LOSING MY VOICE *URGH* wtf i never lose my voice my life line my life my means to communicate my saneness my ability to express....
