INSIGHTS

In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.

So this last week and weekend brought on a heavy case of tripping down memory lane…
Not a bad thing most of the time but this week was a revolutionary rollercoaster of ups and downs…

Yah hence the title... just a reminder of PM Dawns song, and for those who came after Backstreet Boys yes did do a remake/rehash of the same song...

Careless whisper from a careless man,
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that shes not dreaming.
Shes got an ace in the hole,
It doesnt have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
cause complete control, I dont take too kind.

So anyway were was i...yah the fact that i've been on this trip of late is not a bad thing.
I like my memories and i hold on to them maybe some times to fiercly but i guess they are a part of me now. they what ultimately defines the person that i've become, regardles of how people percieve the real me...its def all me!

But i ponder on the issue of friends lost...why do we lose contact with people who mean so much to us? Why do we change our relationships because we have to? Who says i still cant be your friend now that you don't live here any more? Who says because you now have a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance/husband/wife we have to stop being the friends we were?
My questions may seem a bit arb to some of my readers but may be others can identify with what i'm trying to say.
My tripping made me realise that the way i see life is no more as it used to be. I've become a total scaredy cat eish and thats so not me!!! I'm scared to face the future knowing that i leave behind so much and so many people! Like wtf becuase i'm never scared of anything but i guess what i'm really scared of is letting go.
Yes letting go of what was and what has moved on. Sure the nature of relationships change so shouldn't i be accepting this change and hey not all cange is bad...some are really really good and some maybe needed the change so that i could realise the true friends from the false.

So i have ranted and raved for a bit but its not everything i want to say or wish to say but its okay i'll continue another time...

On to more arb notes and thoughts...YAY AC MILAN and LIVERS in UEFA finals. Makes me wonder if we'l have a repeat of last time (2005-2006 finals) or as i was reminded...some ITALIAN REVENGE...needless to say Juve'85 comes to mind (thanks to the soul who mentioned it to me!).

Another point to arb about...is I'M LOSING MY VOICE *URGH* wtf i never lose my voice my life line my life my means to communicate my saneness my ability to express....