INSIGHTS

It beens a while since I posted or blogged for that matter on either of my blogs. Theres been a reason for this. More then anything i wanted to start anew. I thought that once I found the right host and started creating a new site [www.zahira.co.za], I would find peace and my love for blogging would continue.

But damn was I wrong. Not only did I start learning xml/html/design I became so fussy to a point of going through countless themes till I found the right one. A few of my friends even helped me out by other offering pearls of wisdom [thanks Saaleha] or testing out whether my themes actually worked or not on the various browsers available [thanks to saaleha, nafisa, killa and Aasia] and also for letting me know how much some themes SUCKED!!!

Guessing that's what friends are for :)

So to new beginnings and foundations and endeavours and here's to hoping that I can maintain this blog. Its been and uphill and it still feels like one, but you never know what the future holds and brings.

[damn i sound so cliche ;) ]

Please all friends change your link love to this brandnew spanking one.

Check out the new Insights at www.zahira.co.za

to all those who endlessly frequented this blog i love and adore you and really need your traffic in the new place though you may notice its very slowly getting to what I want :)

The last week and this have been a crazy time and I know its not going to be any easier. My darling cousin got proposed/engaged to a friend of mine which is brilliant for me – I think. You maybe wondering why I wrote it as ‘proposal/engaged’, well that’s because I realized that to me it all means the same. I personally think that we – Indians – have a tendency of wanting to do too much. They come see the girl, then they come propose, then they have engagement, then its mendhi before the wedding, and even maybe a qwaali [think I spelt that wrong but it’s a music night or something], then its kataam night for the Muslims [were the Qur

an is completed to give the new couple blessing] AND THEN is the wedding…and walimah. So the problem was that none of us knew what to call this little event that took place. The boy’s side came and they put the ‘chain’ so I’m calling it an engagement…

Another thing that I maybe at fault in doing is that I’m looking too much into this thing. You lost as to what I’m talking about right? Well I mean it’s my fav cousin [who is only 6months my junior] and a friend of mine who I get along with brilliantly. So it should work out perfectly …right? Or maybe not. [I am not talking about their marriage here but about my relationship with them]. I mean who am I to think that I can 24/7 hang out with them when they all married. Eish the issues lol but I’m over glad its them together. They happy and good together and the advantage is that I can barge into their home when ever. **big grin on my face**cheeks and all**

Though people are thinking that I would be next since she got hitched but I keep reminding them that I’m not ready for it nor do I want it right now. “I have too much to do and too much to see.” But they have it stuck still in their heads that I will casually find someone all of a sudden and get buckled. Like I mean do they not realize that my life is now definitely off on a tangent to another place? At one stage I may have welcomed the fact that I would find someone or had found someone to settle down with, but recently I realized the more I stayed away from home and the more I got to know me, the more I didn’t want it. Don’t get me wrong… if someone comes along and its meant to be it will be and I will not stop the process, but right now I will definitely not see what is in front of me because I choose not to. I choose to see what life has to offer me with out the need of having to have a better half. They say the better half would complete me and that I will see the world with him in a different light but I want to see it in the light that belongs solely to me. “Mine all mine.” Selfish as that may sound I know that if I didn’t try to do everything I wanted to now I would regret jumping into something I don’t want at the moment.

“I will get married to the one I want and need, when I want and need him, not before and not after.”

[maybe one day I will choke on those words but till then I will live with it!]

On to more brilliant and informative issues. I have come to realize that the world is a whole lot of superficial hogwash. Economic crisis, financial meltdown, food crisis, climate crisis, war crisis, nuclear crisis…damn only CRISIS’!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now really [come to think of it why would you get married and have kids with all these crisis’?] is this what the world is coming to? At the moment with the job I have I seem to be only coming across the bad in the world. Its making me grow a thicker skin that I feel I am loosing myself. I’m at that point were if I don’t step back these issues and the human suffering that comes with it will wash of my back and mean nothing to me. Its like watching the bad on tv continuously so that it goes in one ear comes out another and that you don’t give a flying F^%k what happens. “if its not me or my family why should I bother?” Emotionally detachment from all that surrounds you.

With out human emotion there is no love, no hope and no promise of a better tomorrow…

PS: wonder if anyone got my title ;)

PPS: Watching the US elections closely…finally stretch…what surprises are in store?!?!? Anyone?

And have you noticed how the elections are overshadowing the financial meltdown? Attention has moved away from the bail outs and are now on Sarah Palins phathetic attempts at dressing and economics….Palin and Bush = Dumb and Dumber :P

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It’s been a crazy few days. Running around a zoo with little kids was the one of the most enjoyable parts of the weekend that passed. Its amazing how they make you want to see life in a different way. The kids that I was running after was 7 out of the big batch that arrived from the day care and aftercare centre south of Johannesburg. Osizweni – a Zulu term for ‘place of help’ – looks after orphans or children coming from broken homes. It is an Islamic Relief project and I firmly believe that it is doing an incredible job.

Most of the kids [or rather all of them] had never visited a zoo before and the most they know about the animals are those they hear in stories. “Roar like a lion”… “meow”… “no a cat meows”… “ok”

A small conversation passed between myself and some of the little ones and volunteers.

“Whats big and grey and uses its nose to eat with?”

“My favourite animal is a baboon. Can we see that?”

“most definitely”

We didn’t end up seeing the baboon though but a rather big gorilla which put on a splendid show for the kids by obliging and coming out of his little house in the enclosure and posing on the rocks before heading onto the ‘jungle gym’. Getting to leave that place may have taken a good half and hour of our time. Also it was about then that we started realising we had one little terror who wished to join the animals at every opportunity he got.

Little Eden kept us running on our toes but I thoroughly had a ball of a time with him. Unlike the rest who were quiet he and Yolanda – a pretty little thing with her corn rows and sunglasses – made my day. They were noisy, naughty and fun as little kids should be.

“So can you roar like a lion?”

“R-O-A-R”

“G-R-O-W-L”

The day moved steadily on. With loads of animals and really not much time to see them all, we minimised the animals we saw to keep it to the big ones and the ones they knew and recognised. Stamping towards the animals we came to the playful seals and Eden thought he could catch a swim with them. Nothing fazed him at all and this helped to get the others more and more involved.

Question – why does the lion enclosure and all the good animals have to be so so far away?

“I’m tired now. Its so hot. SIGH.”

“Let’s stop for a water break guys. Right everyone have some water.”

Lions, and tigers and bears and elephants and snakes and gorillas – lets not forget the snakes – thrilled them to bits. But where were the tigers hiding. “We can’t see them”.

Not knowing where they could be we walked towards a building that formed part of the enclosure. Strict instructions at the door. “Do not go pass the yellow line. You little ones hold on to an adults hands,” said the lady at the door. Fortunately she managed to catch us before Eden or Yolanda went through without us. “Where are they?” “There they are.” Seeing them Yolanda and Thembisile clutched tightly onto my hands. While thankfully John – an older child – had Eden by the hand while ‘Aunty Taahira’ and Aunty Dinah held the rest.

The day was broken with lunch and a rest and a birthday for one of the dear care givers at the centre.

I would write more about the events that occurred after including my run with the 3 older ones in our group from the main entrance to the croc area on the other side of the world but the story would just be a ramble.

Also check out the pic here.

**The care centre is an Islamic Relief project but huge thanks goes to Zeenat Ghoor for organising the countless volunteers and making sure we all had lovely groups of kids and to Aunty Lucy who did as much planning as anyone can to make sure the day was a success.**

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I've been ordered by BiBi to write again.
You may be wondering about the long and lengthy absence but I've been a tad disinterested in life at present. Trying to manage through to the end of Ramadan was not that difficult. The idea of going home for Eid was making it all the more easier.

But my concentration has been shot out the window/door/house/building. And this has left me in limbo not knowing where to go and what to do. Also other factors have been steadily creeping back into my life. No matter how hard I try to keep them away. Some one told me the reason for it was I never dealt with it when I should have at the right time and that’s the reason they coming back. But is there ever a right way to deal with anything?

So noting that I decided to finally start getting back on track. Been reading loads of blogs even though I have not written any in awhile and some have been profound and have started making me rethink life. Others are there just to put a smile on my face :)

Getting back into the blogging world again... what is there really to write about? What would I say that could make any difference? Why would anyone want to even read my stuff?

Then I realised I write what I want for myself. Like most of my fellow bloggers at the moment are doing. So what is it that I want to say?
Should it be important or whimsical?

I think I rather leave it as a mash up of thoughts and ideas. So this is a very much mash up and quick recount of what's been happening.

Ghana as previously shouted was awesome. You can catch the pics here.

Nothing beats travelling Africa and I hope to continue doing it.

Something that has caught my total attention has to be the huge American market rescue. With them failing so has ours. But the thing is why the F&^king H&ll are we still so economically attached to a floundering one. Have our markets not learnt since the great depression and so. Another thing if we have other markets which are now such awesome leaders why should America matter to us?

Then again I never studied ecos so I would have to ask for further clarification by my more competent friends on explaining the reason the rand is weaker to the dollar if the American market is collapsing?

In another direction…following on the Ever-Greats post on choices and loved ones…it got me thinking would I ever do anything that was a good choice?
What's a choice? Is what's good in my eye good in another's?

Will blog again… soon soon
Ciao

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In the last month so much has come and gone. Yes to all my readers who I have neglected I am sorry.

It’s been a hectic month of running after stories, job hunting, interview pressure and excitement at being offered a job I would not have thought I was the best candidate for.

I have been offered the job of junior journalist at Inter Press Service Africa [www.ipsnews.net]. This is indeed a step up from being the Mail & Guardian intern but the one thing I have to say is that being an intern at the M&G is not like being an intern anywhere else.

Your job description on paper may say intern but in reality you one of the journalists working at the M&G. You are treated no differently and are expected to produce good, quality material at all times or when ever asked of you. I have learnt to write under pressure or relaxed. I have written hard breaking news and features. I have done stories of human interest, global issues, technology and economic issues. I wrote on subjects I had no idea about and through this have learnt a whole lot more.

I am ever grateful to the team at M&G who have nurtured me through the last year. The ones who put their trust in a very fresh young journalist who still needed to learn the ropes. The friendships I have forged with the team I will eternally hold on to.

Now on to the wide world. IPS will be amazing and challenging to work for and honestly … I’m thrilled at the prospect. With IPS there is also the opportunity of international recognition and the hope of travel.

I have the travel bug real bad and this may help that a little. Being based in the Africa office though that will be limited to stories in Africa but I don’t mind. I can honestly not wait.

Hopefully I don’t fall flat on my face though…but come what may I really look forward to it.

This last month has also seen other developments. I have become attached to my social mediums and have learnt that people I thought I knew are not the ones I really know. I have learnt that sometimes your friends are the ones you least expect. A few past friends have now renewed their friendships with me…makes me wonder why they stopped in the first place and I question their motives now but I gladly open my arms to them as we all have been through to much together not to. But I’m glad for these life lessons.

I’m so going to miss everyone here at M&G…

Love you all lots!!!

XOXOXOXO


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Been doing a little soul searching lately and came to the realisation I didn’t want to search my soul. The more I think and try to look for answers the more I loose myself. So what may come will come. I have made this decision before on numerous occasions but hopelessly I must admit never kept to it much. I fight with things that come my way and don’t let the inevitable happen as it should. But I guess that is my nature and that is what I have learnt in the past few years.

Though I wonder if there is a way I could have learnt things better. Or some times learnt the real lesson that needed to be learnt and not the other which is really meaningless to my existence.

Does life ever change?

The best thing some one said/sent to me in the last few days was:

“It's all a learning process. The day you stop learning is the day you start becoming irrelevant ;-)”

I guess then that come what may I most probably may or may not repeat the same mistakes over and over again and the day I start realising that I have learnt the wrong thing from that mistake and that’s the reason I keep repeating the mistake is the day I learn more then I had before.

(That some how made complete sense in my head!!!)

Thank you to the dude who gave me the most gorgeous bunch of flowers this past weekend. Will post a pic soon. And they are my favourite flowers. Thanks for brightening up my mood everyday I come home and see them.

Right now to the more important thing…

EURO 2008

I’m loving the ball that’s been played in the tournament so far. With the surprises and the quality on display its no wonder that the Euro’s have is the next most watched event after the Football World Cup. And may over take that in a few years (or even this year – we will await the figures after the tournament).

Turkey last night from the little we were able to watch was sublime and all credits to Germany who were able to contain the continuous onslaught to come out victorious. This I must remind you were a second string Turkish side as most were out through suspension or injury. Turkey you do your country proud.

The semi tonight is going to be just as spectacular. My friends keep reminding me not to forget the Guus Curse – the ability by Guus Hiddink to take the minnows of every tournament to the semi-finals. And boy can Russia produce some upsets. Spain may have beaten them in the round robins but this is a changed Russian team. They playing the type of football we use to seeing from countries like Italy and France who are not in the semi-finals this time around. I for one will not underestimate them or their talent.

(o and on the pic was too lazy to look for bigger image lol and hey killa its for you :P )

**

Next point:

Been doing some amazing stories lately and loving the thrill of deadlines. Though I’m in the market for a new job I’ve also found two other passions and have been pursing that a bit as of late.

Maybe its something that will ultimately just be more of a nothing then a something but I’m learning that I still have the ability to learn – and who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Lol

The first passion I’m sure people have caught on already… I’m becoming a bit of a social medium whore – and I love it.

You guys can find me on Twitter, Plurk, Facebook, Friendfeeder, and a few others I will not divulge as yet. I’m loving the interaction and sociability that I’m finding through these different platforms. The people I meet also have imparted more valuable knowledge then they realise. I’ve learnt more about my blog and how to blog and about sites and arb information I’m sure most of my immediate friends would never know or would not even care about. I’ve also made the most amazing friends through these mediums and for me that’s a total added bonus.

My other passion is something though I will keep as my secret for now…

But keep your ears open to the sounds of the underground ;)

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My posts of late have been somewhat haphazard and erratic, but that is generally the state of my thoughts as well so it would only be natural. On another deviant post I’d just like to say thanks to all the wonderfully people who responded to my cry for help at the camps.

New developments suggest that these camps will be moved to permanent premises in the Midrand area but this does not mean they still don’t need your help. I’m also glad to know that people have taken the initiative from the start to help. Stories we have been covering do not anywhere close enough cover all the stories of love and warmth expressed by people we meet along the way.

Some don’t even want their stories retold but I pray to God to keep them safe. They are definitely angels. Along with a few other stories I nearly jumped on a bus to Harare till they started arresting journalists again and sentencing them to 6months in prison.

Surprising how this goes under the radar with most people and to think a few months ago we were calling everyone to fight for the release of the British journo. Now South African journo’s are in jail and been sentenced and no one seems to care or give a damn. Something seems very wrong with that picture…don’t you think?!?!?!

When someone has answers to BOBs madness please let me know.

So Obama is now the leading presidential candidate for the Democratics… this makes me think of what I previously wrote on the topic of the US presidential race.

Interestingly the US presidential hopefuls are in the midst of their elections. The focus greatly on the two Democrat candidates – Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Is this a suggestion that the tide has changed so much so that people want a Democrat even if they maybe black or a woman. (Is the US ready for such a change?) The republican hopefuls are also having their very same elections but all you see in the media are the Democrat hopefuls..

The policy decisions made by any future president of the most powerful nation in the world will undoubtedly play a major part in the rest of the world – are we, the world, ready to be ruled by a black man or a white woman?

Things have not changed much from the last time that was written. I’m scared to know what will happen when the proper election run begins. Seriously though I was all for Obama winning but now I’m unsure about that. As the race goes on what he stood for seems to have changed a little, but then again I have no deep understanding of US politics so who am I to say anything?

If he does become the next US president then I will see what he is really made of. His comments about “We must be as careful getting out of Iraq as we were careless getting in” and “This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past.”, gives me some hope.

In another post I also went through the turmoil within my head on the whole job situation. Nothing much has changed on that front except the parents have declared that I should apply for everything that comes my way and “you never know something will happen”. Now if anyone has a good motivation letter to pass my way and a few tips please do so.

It will be greatly highly appreciated!!!!

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I'm not sure how exactly to start this post. Maybe a little advertising and marketing may be the key here. Here goes:

A very talented person who has been trained in the media field is looking for a future job. This individual will soon be at odds with the position she currently fills. She (yes, she it falls under the BEE policy) has come to the cross roads of her life once again. Apply to remain in the place that has trained her well in the last year or to broaden her horizon and see what the future may hold. Anyone knowing of anything in her areas of expertise please contact her. Thanks

Yah so I’m back at the cross roads of my existence and unfortunately unsure of what decision would be the right one. Hopefully the next week will open my eyes to what would be the best for me but ultimately I need to grow up and make a decision that would be in my best interest.

The positions that are available seem to be out of my depth but then again what is my depth? That question has been bugging me. What if it’s in fact perfect for me and my career and I’m just being stupid by bringing myself down. What I do know though is that these options are short on the things i love doing.

Reporting breaking news, and having time to write features, technology and gadgets as well as the internet is a passion. Social media is also my addiction but these positions are short on those aspects, which mean that I may be lost to the future of the growth of social media in South Africa. Something that I have a passion for, though I may not know the nitty grittys of it.

I love the work I do. The last two weeks showed me why I love it that much, and hate it at times as well. But that is only natural. A love – hate relationship is what most jobs are based on I guess. But discontent was never part of the jobs that I do.

Maybe I’m analysing this too deeply and I should just take what comes my way.

Hope I can do J

On another note I would love to thank my friends who came together to give what little and to help those who needed it more then ourselves. To those who pitched in and help put the cutest smiles on kids faces – a BIG BIG BIG thank you.

To those who leant their support at the camps --- an even BIGGER thank you goes to you.

Love you guys.

XOXOXOXOXO

PS: I know that my Boss or future Boss most probably is reading this but hey at least you guys know what i feel...right???? Don't take it the wrong way though :) if you are please come and talk to me I promise I will explain better in person :)

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These last two weeks have been the most argonising one that I have experienced in ages. I turned to journalism for the reason that presented itself in the last week. Xenophobic attacks, displaced people, pure utter thugery all in my own back yard. I would never have thought it possible. I honestly thought one day I would be travelling to OTHER African countries to cover stories like this.

Now I get to cover it without stepping off my door step…

Makes you wonder --- doesn’t it?

These same people who think its okay to beat up innocent people need to take a look at what they really trying to achieve with their nonsense.

I mean – do people know that this has been the first necklacing (where pple are burnt to death by a tire round their neck) since Apartheid – almost 20 years ago!!!!!

Has South Africa lost its soul?

There are many reasons as to why this seems to be happening and even though it may have started as Xenophobia its honestly changed to something worse -- feels amazingly evil. When have you ever seen Johannesburg city dead at night???Never!!! But its become like a ghost town of late. Mobs of youngsters inciting violence and also just looting for the fun and sake of it. That to me is definitely not Xenophobia.

I went to the refugee camps and I was brought to tears to see young children who have been born and schooled in South Africa asking “Why is this happening?” with the heaviest South African accent I have heard. Innocents with the only fault that their parents are not from South Africa. “Can you brings us chocolates and biscuits and colouring books when you come again?”

That’s all they ask for even though they are now living with out a roof over their heads!!!! In make shift tents in the grounds of Jeppe Police Station they stay with their mothers and other children, while their fathers or older male siblings stay in the cold under the night stars.

Huddled together for warmth I find a group of Zimbabwean blind people who are in dire need, as what ever blankets that were distributed they were forgotten about in the ensuing stampede. They are blind they cannot reach the people handing blankets out -- they are the forgotten!!! When do we ever turn on the disabled????? I read a letter written by them to the South African people --- do you know what they say --- They THANK us for allowing them to beg to gain a little money!!!! They Thank us!??!?!?!?!? Do we not get it?!??!?!?

There’s a group of people dancing and singing praising the Lord… they don’t do it because they happy, they do it because they hope something better comes from it…they do it so that they can find a way to stay warm…they do it because there is nothing else they can do while they wait for help.

Given only four slices of bread for the day these people are starving, destitute and with the weather conditions the way they are at present most likely to freeze to death.

Anyone wishing to help in any way you can contact:
Islamic Reflief and Gift of the Givers are based in Mint Road, Fordsburg and take donations at their offices. Alternatively Gift of the Givers has a huge truck taking donations outside Village Walk in Sandton today until about 6pm.

Or MAIL ME: zahirakharsany[at]gmail.com

Anything welcomed including your time as only 10 volunteers were present at Jeppe when I visited.

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No this is not a post on the Euro 2008 though I am looking forward to it but the picture has some meaning below...

People say that to blog you need to do it more regularly and on a continuous basis. But some people forget that not everyone is privileged enough to have access 24/7.
Why this train of thought...well if I had the access i would be religiously publishing everything that happens in my life all the time and for that matter voicing my opinions more on the fact that I have an opinion.

But back to the reason of this ‘outdated’ blog. I have so much anger and frustration pent up in me that I have decided to do something physical. Yes I have taken up football. Now as most of my guy friends would know…I can kick the ball, I can pass the ball, I can foul a player, but I CANNOT for one sec run with the damn ball. God alone knows why so many years down the line I finally decide to take up the one sport I have the biggest passion for.

I’m not ashamed though I don’t think I would ever want my ‘guy’ friends to come see me play (well until I become more confident in my atrocious skills). But damn since I can no longer swim in Johannesburg due to the falling temperatures I sure need an outlet for my energy.

O which reminds me the damn Eskom and their tariff hikes as well as the fact I don’t experience load shedding does not mean they have let us (my house and those on our road) off easy. We suffered two power surges which has left us without a television and microwave (though the micro has been fixed now) and no cellphone chargers as well. The idiots forget we rely on these basics. Let me explain…for the week in which the micro and lights went we were resigned to having to warm up small amounts of food in the oven which uses more electricity ---stupid stupid Eskom and City Power. The next surge left us without a television.

Yes we still have no television but thanks to Joe I have series and movies to watch, which helps but every time I want to watch sports I need to find somewhere else to do so. (Anyone with a spare tv to lend me???) Generally this would not be an issue, since I have been catching UEFA Champs league with the guys from the Swoosh blog but when I want to check the home grown football (which is really exciting this season seeing as the top three are not the high flyers and the title race is wide open) I cannot :P fooey. Eskom makes my blood boil but when we lodged the complaint we were surprisingly notified that the reason was some idiots had cut the wires and stolen the copper cable. Eish and the situation just seems to get worse by the day.

Some facts…

1. Eskom doesn’t ‘foresee’ the future and the government doesn’t build new power stations.
2. Eskom decides the only way to help the current situation is to Load Shed.
3. Eskom then realises to do even more a ‘necessary price’ hike is required to fund the building of a new power station and to buy power from other countries like Mozambique.
4. Poor people feel the pinch in their pockets and start protesting against immediate hikes.
5. Some idiot trying to get a little money to feed family (I’m assuming he is doing this for good reasons and no other) steals the copper cables so that he can resell them and the chances that Eskom ends up buying them back is great (I did an interview so its likely).

Now all this combined with the fact that we need power to live our lives – our everyday lives – leaves us all a little hot under the collar. O wait did I forget to say that its OUR fault we short on power and because WE don’t help by turning off appliances WE will be living with this situation for a good couple of years.

GO FIGURE!!!!!!

O btw ever wondered what your Brazilian football name would be? Well if you want to know go check ut BrazilianName. Leave the name and your shirt number in my comments if you wish :)

Another thing which seems to be a bit of a bother is the annoying fact that I’m single and okay with it. People have this idea that I should have someone and guys should be lining up but in truth they are not and I am comfortable with the fact. I think the only real problem is the occasional longing one may have but that is natural especially after coming out from a long intensive relationship. (Yah I know you cynics its been over a year but fooey I like being single right now!!)

I long and wish for better things but I’m only human (and a woman amazingly) so its natural but it does not mean that the next person who comes along I will fling myself at them. To me right now that’s no more important. I want to just follow my dreams to see were life takes me.

No I am NOT saying I will not get married, what I am saying is the urgency that may have been there 2 years ago no longer exists. Neither am I saying I will not meet people because for my parents sake I should (since I aint getting any younger) but it still means that there is no rush. When it comes and it’s meant to happen it will and I will stick by that philosophy through and through.

Oi Dude – yes you – I know you reading this --- I am not Scaring you away --- don’t runaway now – stay don’t go and you never know there still maybe hope…

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Another long delay before time was given to writing this piece…

There have been various things happening over the last two months. We had Polokwane, Eid, Xmas and New Years. I had my holidays in between and boy was life eventful.

The usual mad rush at the end of the year is expected but throw in the curve ball of the ANC elections and they sure up the tempo. So Jacob Zuma is ANC president and he has been sentenced to a trail by the media till his court appearance in August, I’m sure all of this was as expected. Whether he is guilty, or not or even guilty by association we should honestly leave it to an unbiased court to decide. The ongoing media reports are sure influencing the majority of people in the country and the question will be how to we live with the situation if he is in fact not guilty? The way things are going in most of our heads we have already found him guilty…I wonder what the outcome of the court case will be.

Zuma may have his faults and may or may not be guilty of the fiasco of the arms deal but trying him before the public (through the media) even before his actual court date would be wrong on any part, especially by South Africans who seemingly believe in the justice system. If we wish to have any faith in the justice system we should leave it to them and investigators and judges and lawyers to play their part in the final act.

On another note has anyone any idea on what the actual policies discussed at the conference are and what part do they play in our future? These same policies will be the most important things we look at the next time we go to ‘make our mark’ in the national elections (in 2009). Most of us have no idea what was in fact discussed. The focus was mainly on the presidential race and now on Zuma and his problems. Personally I for one would like to know what economic stance the ANC will be following as well as what social developments and attitude to health will be.

Interestingly the US presidential hopefuls are in the midst of their elections. The focus greatly on the two Democrat candidates – Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Is this a suggestion that the tide has changed so much so that people want a Democrat even if they maybe black or a woman. (Is the US ready for such a change?) The republican hopefuls are also having their very same elections but all you see in the media are the Democrat hopefuls. Interestingly the same close race between the Democrats can be reflected in the republican elections, except they both men and white – one a pastor, the other an out of favour senator.

The policy decisions made by any future president of the most powerful nation in the world will undoubtedly play a major part in the rest of the world – are we, the world, ready to be ruled by a black man or a white woman?

In other news – yes I feel like reporting – it was good going home to the family for an extra long holiday. Eid was as amazing as ever. Slaughtering is an experience that always leaves me on another spiritual level. Sublime may be the word I’m looking for and no that does not make me want to see more blood, just the whole getting involved and knowing why you partaking -- is the ultimate.

Going home was the thing I needed the most. Jhb has left me feeling out of sorts and not me at all. The beach is what was needed with a good few days spent there lying in the sun and getting burnt (yes I’m Indian but I enjoy the heat and sun). The home fires were the usual as well…what with the usual sibling arguments and the parental conflicts (yes with me involved) nothing seemed to have changed – except me. Wonder if Jhb has finally caught up with me.

The feeling of being in limbo was a massive shock. Not knowing in which direction I was heading in Durban and being back in Jhb doesn’t seem to make a difference. Work keeps me busy but the lack of motivation or a reason is scary.

Mmmm maybe I just need to take life by the hand and lead it unto sunset…

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Yesterday seemed to be another passing day the only significance to it was the fact that I some how managed to turn a year older. But as my friends say I never grow up. I wonder…is it possible to get older but stay young?
This train of thought naturally leads me to one of my all time favourite books…Peter Pan, the boy who never wanted to grow up. Sounds a bit like me but the whole move to Johannesburg has changed that. I’ve grown in leaps and bounds and have found out the hard way that I really cannot tolerate most women (or rather I cannot tolerate them while I live with them).
The freedom also has gotten to me but I miss home enough to be excited with the prospect of leaving and driving 600km on my own just to see home again.

Anyway on a different note…you know we always ask ourselves what models really get up to… well moi had the pleasure of some how being chosen to do a little short photo-shoot session (along with a few others from M&G) for our advertising and marketing feature on the M&G Cabinet Report Card. I set out with three other women from M&G and I will tell you that they are gorgeous people. Anyway we head off to the photo-shoot and surprise surprise I feel like I’m finally in the wrong profession.

I mean in which office can you conduct a photo-shoot and find the kitchen lady cooking for you all at once. Wait not a kitchen lady but a COOK!!! Anyway back to the point…

Stand there…look at me…turn your face to the left but look at me…now turn it to the right and still look at me…tilt your chin up…higher…give me attitude…wait a moment…there better…nice…move the board a little down on the left…good…okay that’s it!!!

And it was all over as fast as it began…so really how hard can it be being a model?

Well from the few friends I know who do it as a living it is harder then the simple shoot I visited on this day, but maybe this little shoot will make me famous lol (I doubt it – all they wanted was my chubby cheeks *giggles*). The whole trying to give what the public want to meet instant gratification is definitely an ugly business. The modelling world is no different but this is one area I will not foray into in the near future.

On a different note…we are heading to Polokwane, to see in the new President of the African National Congress and most probably the new president of South Africa. No matter what our opinions maybe with regards to the two distinctive candidates…I think many of us are forgetting about the other issues.

What about the ANC’s future plans, those that the new president will implement. How will they look to govern the future and the lands and people in it? Will they take a new stance on the policy of HIV/AIDS in South Africa or will we still be lead down the road less trodden? Will the economic inflation and interest rate hikes continue? Will women get equal opportunity or not?

Theses are the ultimate questions we should be asking but we seem so caught up in the one of who will rule that we have left these on the wayside. Sure the new president would be the influential power but he will not be going at it alone. These few questions come from a bigger pot that needs asking and these questions will ultimately then decide who will be the ruler of South Africa come the next elections.

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I have been tagged by my Mauro, From 1 million love messages so hear goes.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?
My cousin Zee

2. What were you doing at 0800?
In the Bathroom :)

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Lol supposedly working ;)

4. What happened to you in 2006?
Too many things the usual rollercoaster ride

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
Was talking about FRIENDS to my work collegue (go figure coz I dnt even watch the programme)

6. How many beverages did you have today?
mmmm water only :P

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
Black

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
hmmmm lets see I know I will be paying tonight for something but last thing was a packet of chips…Simba RRRROOOOOAAAARRRRR

9. Where were you last night?
At home with cuz and friends and madhouse roomies :P

10. What colour is your front door?
White

11. Where do you keep your change?
wallet, pocket, car, draws

12. What’s the weather like today?
Sunny yay :D

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavour?
Chocolate, but urrr any icecream in my book!!!!! You heard BUY ME ICECREAM!!!!

14. What excites you?
Friends fun life adrenalin speed

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Actually yes but I cnt figure out how…help

16. Are you over the age of 25?
Not yet :P

17. Do you talk a lot?
Loads and loads and loads and never stop lol unless to listen me good at listening too (I hope)

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
Nope

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
mmmm Steven Wright mmmm Steven Gerrad but not on personal levels lol

20. Do you make up your own words?
Yes most def okies pokies yummylicious

21. Are you a jealous person?
No I’m not. Sadly proved a problem (go figure) lol But yes I am a woman so I think at times I do but not over a bf I mean he is mine isn’t so why be jealous???

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’
Aadila

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’
Kavit

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
mmm wait I check lol….mmmm it says withheld but I think it was the bank

25. What does the last text message you received say
Sorry cant tell hehehehe

26. Do you chew on your straw?
mmm only when I’m drinking and thinking

27. Do you have curly hair?
Nopes! But I would like

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
Madhouse

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Some chickys I stay with lol Not my fault i have to stay with the inconsiderate fools

30. What was the last thing you ate?
Pasta (leftovers for lunch)

31. Will you get married in the future?
I hope so! Mmmm maybe we’ll see

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
Stardust

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
No Comment

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
mmm Friday maybe usually do them on Saturdays (no maid) or whenever i can't handle too many in the sink.

35. Are you currently depressed?
No comment again lol

36. Did you cry today?
No...the day aint over :P

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Because Mauro tagged me and then said he would be interested in my answers lol so why not…

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
mmmmm all those on my list and everyone who reads this… o and then let me know when you do it so I can read all about you J

This was mailed to me the other day by a dear friend. I think the person was having a slight mid-life crisis but then i realized that its the same questions we ask each other or ourselves everyday.

I haven't edited anything from what was sent because there is no need to... If people have answer to the questions or opinions drop in a comment...

Why does one love? why does one pine for another...
Why does life sometimes seem to be sooo sooo good, but then at times it feels like you got hit by a bus, or you rather be dead then alive?

when does one fall in love? When does one fall out of love?
does love exist? or is it a figment of our imagination?

what is our purpose in life? do we have a purpose? is der a greater purpose that we dont know? are we a governed on what we do? if so, den wats our purpose?

have u ever wondered if ders life other den us? do they have intelligence?

what is the difference in men and women? is there a difference other then pyhsical? why do we love each other? n why do some love the same?
what is sex? male female in pure extacy? have you experienced an orgasm? how did it feel? why do men love sex more then women?

we came so far, yet we are so backward, but why? we put man on the moon, but a rapist walks the streets? have we lost our common values for higher technology? are we moving backward rather forward?

well, all i can say.... i got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning as u can c... just thought i will share my madness with you…

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