INSIGHTS

In this farewell,
There’s no blood,
There’s no alibi.
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret,
From the truth,
Of a thousand lies.

So let mercy come,
And wash away…

What I’ve Done.
I’ll face myself,
To cross out what I’ve become.
Erase myself,
And let go of what I've done.

So this last week and weekend brought on a heavy case of tripping down memory lane…
Not a bad thing most of the time but this week was a revolutionary rollercoaster of ups and downs…

Yah hence the title... just a reminder of PM Dawns song, and for those who came after Backstreet Boys yes did do a remake/rehash of the same song...

Careless whisper from a careless man,
A neutron dance for a neutron fan;
Marionette strings are dangerous things,
I thought of all the trouble they bring.
An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy,
Rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh.
Tell me that shes not dreaming.
Shes got an ace in the hole,
It doesnt have meaning.
Reality used to be a friend of mine,
cause complete control, I dont take too kind.

So anyway were was i...yah the fact that i've been on this trip of late is not a bad thing.
I like my memories and i hold on to them maybe some times to fiercly but i guess they are a part of me now. they what ultimately defines the person that i've become, regardles of how people percieve the real me...its def all me!

But i ponder on the issue of friends lost...why do we lose contact with people who mean so much to us? Why do we change our relationships because we have to? Who says i still cant be your friend now that you don't live here any more? Who says because you now have a girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance/husband/wife we have to stop being the friends we were?
My questions may seem a bit arb to some of my readers but may be others can identify with what i'm trying to say.
My tripping made me realise that the way i see life is no more as it used to be. I've become a total scaredy cat eish and thats so not me!!! I'm scared to face the future knowing that i leave behind so much and so many people! Like wtf becuase i'm never scared of anything but i guess what i'm really scared of is letting go.
Yes letting go of what was and what has moved on. Sure the nature of relationships change so shouldn't i be accepting this change and hey not all cange is bad...some are really really good and some maybe needed the change so that i could realise the true friends from the false.

So i have ranted and raved for a bit but its not everything i want to say or wish to say but its okay i'll continue another time...

On to more arb notes and thoughts...YAY AC MILAN and LIVERS in UEFA finals. Makes me wonder if we'l have a repeat of last time (2005-2006 finals) or as i was reminded...some ITALIAN REVENGE...needless to say Juve'85 comes to mind (thanks to the soul who mentioned it to me!).

Another point to arb about...is I'M LOSING MY VOICE *URGH* wtf i never lose my voice my life line my life my means to communicate my saneness my ability to express....

Yes people the above drink was the most amazing thing that could hav happened on Friday night. My darling cuz Az captioned the pic! Its a Creme Caramel Latte, one of the most amazing drinks I've had in ages. The Location - a nice sofa at Umhlanga Sands.

O btw for Yas's sake....darling here goes... "I'm a Bitch with a capital C"! lol

This is especially for LINKIN PARK fans...
I did comment in my last post about the release of there single above and their new album.
This video is also awesome makes you wonder...What I've Done?!?!?!?!?
But I'll say it again...

MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT release date is 14/15 May...
This song is not exactly them but its awesome and doesnt fall short like Maroon5... they still leave me a believer :)

no its not insane...i got curly hair and i like straight hair...a ghdcosts R1500....why must i pay to "burn" my hair and going to the salon costs R100 a week x 52 weeks = 5200.00.....so its not insane .....even if have to go for a function , i don't have to go salon, just wash and go....how convenient....for 365 days ....costs R 3.28/day....a pack of cigarettes costs +/- R19.00...so if acid/arshad buys a pack every 2/3 days= +/- R 3467.50 = 288% insane if i am "insane"....and if they buy a pack a day then they get more insane.....;-))
*btw she spent 1200 (i think on her hair yday lol)
This insane mathematical formula was developed by the gorgeous Moh...she who argues the need of visiting the hair salon once a year :) Moh i understand thanks but still I wouldn't need to lol my hair is too straight, but for others of the female species i believe you should take Moh up on her formula lol

any way on a bit of an arb note...like wtf is Maroon5 thinking...yes R you can kill me later if you like but their new song reminds me totally of Backstreet Boys and N'Sync.
They gone from awesome (I own their cd) to totally pop bubble gum vomit inducing music....Yah sure the tune is catchy yah def it will stick in my head after a while but please somebody save them from themselves. Okay fine i'll wait till i hear their whole album but honestly if its more of this stuf *Zahira vomits*...then i'm def not investing in their cd...def not worth it.
*Zahira gives R death stares...* Don't even try killing me R you know I can take you down with my little finger lol

*ME EVIL*EFG* l__l

Hey last night was awesome...had a get together of old and new friends mainly bloggers...may this tradition continue...hehehe to those who didnt make it or we didnt have contact info sorry drop a line maybe next time we'll see you there...but hey to the guys who were thank you...lets just say there would never be a dull moment between insane crazy peeps :) mwah

*ME EVIL*EFG* l__l

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

I’m sitting watching cricket and soccer with my dad, actually we fighting over the remote, but this is not what’s making me write this.
Out of the blue my dad decides to remind me of the fact that I can’t sing. Yes people I can’t hold a note to save my life. He reminds me of a time long gone. When I was small my dad used to tease and taunt (how cruel) me about the fact I couldn’t sing. It used to be so horrid that I used to sit in the corner of our dining room on the window sill and cry and shout that I could sing better then him…Imagine a chubby little child with tears flowing down her cheeks proclaiming to the world she could sing. How incredibly reminiscent I feel right now. I actually long for that time again.

But yes daddy dearest was right I still can’t sing lol never could then never can now…
And why all this well he laughs telling me I listen to too much music but I still can’t sing *sigh*
*evil daddy just evil*

*ME EVIL*EFG* l__l

Yah this is the kind of R&R i want...
A place where i can release built up frustration, and some how sooth and calm my soul.
So what you may i ask do i wish to R&R about...hmmm lots and at the same time nothing at all! yah exactly i want to R&R about the nothingness part of it all.
I was standing at the bus stop the other day... yes people i wait at the bus stop...and i was just enjoying the moment of solitude. Watched the cars go by and the buses (I was waiting for the mother peole!!!) and wondering how they seemed to pollute the same f%$^ing air I was breathing, but thats not the issue here. The issue is that i was actually enjoying this alone time of people, bus and car and the occasional bike watching. I could see people laughing, talking, fighting and kissing (Bus stop is near a robot sillys) in their cars. How differently we all see the world move by.
The other totally soothing thing about watching all this was that it began to drizzle. Me i love the rain (I LOVE H2O). Was desperatly wanting to play in the rain. Can you imagine me running between cars lol how much fun would that be...except on a main road i may get jailed *sigh*.
So have i gone off on a tangent or are you guys still following along in my mud?
The whole point of the above is to enjoy the simple things in life. And everything has its own beauty even the ugly.
My other R&R has to do with the fact that my friends don't seem to enjoy each moment as it comes. Why do they have to place in context with something else? Like I know sometimes i do that as well, but honestly can one not enjoy a moment with out worrying about someone else or something else or thinking if only the situation was different?
Are all humans ingrained withthis sense of 'publicity'? hmmm
O well screw them and screw the world i'm gonna enjoy each moment as is and when ever it throws itself at me...why bloody not?
I will def continue this R&R session...I feel so much better already :)
*ME EVIL*EFG* l__l
(for those who get it...to those who don't f^&k this shit don't make your problems mine!!!)